Disclaimer: Paramount owns them.  I just play with them.

A visit from Q

Just a fun little story written in repy to Caffey's challenge on the original voyagerangel board.

Rated: PG13

“Captain to the Bridge.”  Ensign Kim’s voice blared over the comm.

The Captain sighed as she withdrew her foot from the tub filled invitingly with warm bubbles.  Why is it they always needed her most desperately when she was off duty?

“Janeway to the Bridge.  Ensign what seems to be the problem?” Kathryn dropped her towel and searched for her clothes.

“Captain, I’m sorry to disturb you, but we have company.”

“Another ship? What’s the ETA?” Kathryn had managed to get back into her underwear and clasp her bra as she spoke.

“No, Captain…”

Kathryn heard a chuckle behind and turned to find Q smiling broadly.

“Captain, He’s ….”

“Yes, Ensign.  I see what you mean.  I’ll take it from here.”

“Aye, Captain.  Bridge out.”

“What are you doing here, Q?” His leer made her aware of her state of undress. She reached for her robe.

“Ahh, Kathy, don’t.”  He snatched the robe out of her hand. “You look very inviting like this.”

“Give me the robe, Q.  This is not an invitation!”  Kathryn grabbed the robe, hastily pulling it on and tying it.  “What are you doing here anyway?”

“Came to visit.”  He reached out and fingered the edge of the robe.  “You know I can make this go away whenever I want to.”

“Q, is there a purpose to this?”

“Only a visit.  Can’t I visit my friend?”

“I am not your friend.”  Kathryn moved into the living area.  “Now if you would be so kind as to flash on out of here, I could continue with my bath.”

“You can have your bath, I won’t mind.”

“You don’t really believe that is ever going to happen, do you?”  Q just smiled and nodded.  “Well, just in case, let me make this reality perfectly clear to you. No! Not in this universe it won’t!”

“Ahhh, Kathy, reality is for people who lack imagination – or Q skills.”  With that he zapped away the bathrobe.

“Q….!”  Kathryn was interrupted by the door chime.  “Ahhh see what you’ve done?!”

“Oh, who do you suppose is at the door?”  Q pretended to think as the door chimed furiously.

“Give me that, before he uses his override!”  Kathryn reached again for the robe.

“You know, Kathy, the human male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things.”  Q surrendered the robe.  “How long did it take you to train him to do that?”  Q laughed and pointed behind her to her gaping first officer.

Kathryn whirled around, robe still clutched in her hand, to find Chakotay standing right behind her.


Chakotay pushed past Kathryn to stand between her and Q.

“What are you doing here?”

“My, you humans are not very original, are you?  She asked the same question.”  Q shook his head and smiled at Kathryn who was struggling back into her robe.  “Kathy, I love you, but some times you are so dense, light bends around you.  I can take it away again anytime.”

“Q, get the hell out of here and leave her alone!”  Chakotay shoved Q a step backwards.

“Oh, please don’t do that again.”  Q shook his head.

“Leave.”  Chakotay stepped closer.

“You fell out of your family tree, didn’t you?” Q stepped around Chakotay and leaned down to whisper in Kathryn’s ear.

“Not very smart is he, Kathy?”

“Q!”  Chakotay stepped up behind him placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Chuckles, stop touching me.  Do you have any idea what I can do to you?” Q pushed Chakotay away but he still didn’t back down, he was too angry to consider Q’s powers.

“Some people are only alive because it’s illegal to kill!”  Chakotay growled as he stepped closer again.

“It’s hard to believe you beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.”  Q raised his hand and Chakotay disappeared.

“Q!  What have you done to him?”  Kathryn grabbed Q’s outstretched arm.

“Kathy, Kathy, Kathy.”   Q grinned at her.  “Why don’t we take that nice bath and worry about your lap dog later?”

Q raised his hand again and Kathryn found herself undressed and soaking in warm bubbles.  Unfortunately, Q was soaking with her.

“Q!  Get out of here!”


“Q, get out or I’ll…”

“What, Kath?  Will you get out yourself?”  Q wiggled his eyebrows and Kathryn slumped against the back of the tub.

Kathryn closed her eyes and rested her head on the wall.  Q tried teasing her and splashing her but she refused to speak to him.

“I’m sorry, Kath.  Please talk to me.”  Q crawled over her to look at her face.  “What are you doing?”

“I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.”

“Ahh, Kathy you wound me.” Q settled back at his own end of the tub.  “What can I do to make you happy, Kathy?”

“You really want to make me happy?”  Kathryn sat up and glared at him.

“Yes, yes, anything you want.”

“Then get out of here and bring back my first officer!”

Kathryn noticed the gleam in his eye a second too late.  There was a flash of light and Q was gone.  Kathryn found herself naked and face to face with her equally naked first officer.  She sank down in the bubbles and laughed.

The End.

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